As an NBC News reporter covering former President Donald Trump, I’ve attended more than a dozen of his campaign rallies this election cycle alone. They usually feel more like concerts or festivals than political events, with food trucks and vendors, where supporters and their families gather to enjoy the day.
That’s how Saturday’s rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, started, too. But, as we all know, that’s not how it ended.
A few minutes into Trump’s speech, my producer, Bianca Seward, and I heard what we thought were fireworks. But when those pop-pop-pops kept going and the former president stopped talking, we instinctively ducked down behind some stage equipment. In my mind, I thought, “This is silly, I’m overreacting.” But my body was shaking.
It wasn’t immediately clear what the situation was or how dangerous. From our crouched position, we heard the crowd cheering when Trump, face bloodied, pumped his fist. We stood up and scrambled back onto the press risers, eager to reunite with the rest of our crew, who were thankfully safe, and figure out what everyone had seen. From there, we reported nonstop until just after 1 a.m. We’re still working now, which has surely delayed our own emotional response to the events.
But there are things that have stuck with me: the sound of children screaming, a witness who was standing near the man who was killed cogently walking our viewers through every excruciating moment, a mother who told me that her adult son grabbed her hand for the first time since he was a young child. These are memories that will be seared into people’s minds.
As reporters, we’re accustomed to covering the aftermath of a shooting, but in this case we were having a shared experience with our sources. Whether you’re a reporter or a rallygoer, you’re just trying to make sense of what happened. For reporters, we also want to help others better understand. As challenging as it was, this is why we do what we do. I feel grateful for everyone who was willing to share their stories.
Once we knew what had happened, we were initially surprised that someone could get a weapon into the rally, given how intense the security was. There are metal detectors, and they check everyone’s bags, even our wallets. But once we learned the shooter was outside the perimeter, it was less surprising, because behind the audience there was a lot of open space. Of course, we’ll wait for the investigation to reveal exactly what happened.
It was unusual for Trump to jump into policy issues so early in his rally speech. Usually, he’d spend more time warming up the crowd. But as one witness pointed out, if Trump hadn’t been gesturing toward a screen at the exact moment he was shot at, the outcome might have been much worse.
The idea that a political event could lead to violence has occurred to me in the past, as it has for so many. But you never think it’s going to happen, and you never think you’re going to be there if it does.
Saturday, we were so focused on the news of the day. We’ve been waiting for Trump to announce his running mate pick, and the Republican National Convention is starting this week. Political violence was the furthest thing from my mind. But I don’t think it will be from this point forward.
As I’ve been traveling the country and talking to voters since 2019, I’ve felt this increasing sense of sadness and hopelessness about the polarized state of our nation. What happened Saturday validates that outlook in the most horrific way. But I would like to hope this might be the peak of that polarization, not just another tragic episode in our increasingly turbulent political reality.
