PARK CITY, Utah — Twelve years ago in Russia, during his first Olympic competition, Nick Goepper felt overcome with emotion after winning an silver medal in slopestyle skiing.
At 23, he was already near the pinnacle of his sport. The medal at the Sochi Winter Olympics soon opened once-closed doors, drawing attention and business opportunities. Goepper was on an incredible high.
It quickly wore off, however, sending him into a depression he likened to an Olympics hangover.
“You can experience traumatic euphoria, a kind of short-term life change,” he told NBC News of winning a medal. “Then afterwards, you’re kind of left with ‘Well, what do I do now?’ There was this crazy thing I was preparing for, and now it’s all gone. Now I have seemingly a lack of structure, a lack of focus, a lack of people around me because all these people that were telling me I was the best thing since sliced bread have all gone away now.”
Depression, drinking and legal issues followed his 2014 Olympics experience. But changes he made in response have helped bring him to his fourth Games, where he will compete in halfpipe this week at the Milan Cortina Olympics.
He said those adjustments, especially finding a tight-knit group of friends and family, will help him navigate what comes next after the closing ceremony, when the spotlight fades.
“Human beings ride these crazy waves of emotion throughout their lives, and connecting with people is really the polar opposite of depression,” Goepper said. “Whether it’s a coach or a friend or a girlfriend or whatever, I need some people around in this little bubble that believe in me and that I can use as a support network.”
Back in 2014, that wasn’t there. Almost immediately after winning silver in Sochi, the self-described introvert said he battled anxiety and contemplated suicide on multiple instances. Those dark thoughts led to a drinking problem, and it hit a low point in December 2014, when he was charged with criminal mischief after throwing rocks at cars and causing more than $8,000 in damage.
He told himself something needed to change. After a 60-day stay at an addiction clinic, alcohol was out. He worked toward sobriety for three years but relapsed after a similar post-Olympics come down in 2018, when he won silver in Pyeongchang. Goepper once again went to the rehab facility.
“Ever since, I have not had a drop of alcohol,” he said.
Despite the internal struggles off the mountain, Goepper remained among the best slopestyle skiers in the world. He took second place in the 2022 Winter Olympics but said he felt burnt out and decided to retire.
“I was ready to move onto something else,” he said. “I had to be honest with myself and with my sponsors and supporters at the time and be like, ‘Listen, guys, I don’t want to do this anymore, and I’m not going to fake it.’”
Goepper said he knew he made the right choice when he watched the 2023 X Games from his living room couch for the first time in nearly 15 years.
“I’m sitting there and I thought I was going to experience these feelings of regret and fear of missing out and these harsh feelings of stepping away from the sport, even though my body was still very capable,” he said. “I’m watching these guys ski, and I’m like, ‘Wow, this feels amazing. I am so happy to be here watching on TV and not there right now.’”
Like all elite athletes, however, Goepper’s desire to be on the sidelines only lasted so long. Ten months after stepping away, he decided to get back into skiing — just not slopestyle, an event where skiers go downhill and perform tricks off jumps and rails.
Halfpipe, where competitors drop down a 22-foot ramp and perform tricks, was an option because the transition wouldn’t be massive.
Goepper compared the sports to short-track speed skating versus long-track speed skating. Or a floor routine in gymnastics to the balance beam. Switching disciplines took him a few months to figure out the nuances — like needing to rotate tricks an additional 30 degrees because you’re landing on the same ramp you took off on. But his experience eased the transition.
The differences in the disciplines were enough to light a fire inside him.
“I painted a picture in my head and I basically wrote a story,” he said. “I was like, ‘Nick Goepper returns from retirement, goes into halfpipe, goes to another Olympics and wins the gold.’ I painted this picture. And I was like, ‘Would I enjoy this? Would this be fun? Would this be like something I want to dedicate the next four years of my life to?’ And so from that point forward was a series of very small steps to determine if this is something I would want to put my all into.”
On Thursday in Livigno, Italy, that picture will be painted when he heads down the halfpipe for Team USA. Gold is a possibility, but Goepper said “it’s not the end-all, be-all.”
“I got a lot of life to live. I got an amazing family and girlfriend and other things to look forward to,” he said. “So on one hand, it’s all that matters, and that’s kind of how I’m approaching it this year. But on the other hand, it’s not all that matters. People are going to love you regardless.”
