For What It’s Worth is a live podcast about the stuff we use, the trends we question and the products we can’t stop talking about. Stream new episodes bi-weekly on YouTube, hosted by NBC Select editorial director Lauren Swanson and NBC Select reporter Zoe Malin. Shop our product picks below and on Amazon.

There’s no better feeling than absolutely nailing gift-giving, especially during the holidays. But that doesn’t always mean finding the perfect present for your loved one is easy. Some people are way easier to shop for than others — I’m sure someone in your life just immediately came to mind. But I promise, there are way better options than a candle, socks or a bottle of wine when you’re truly stumped.

In this episode of For What It’s Worth, NBC Select’s live podcast, NBC Select editorial director Lauren Swanson and I are sharing our rules of gift giving, including major no-nos, why we’re mostly pro gift cards and how we shop for people you don’t know (or don’t like). Plus, learn what to do when you’re not a fan of the gift you receive — trust us, we’ve been there.

Want more from NBC Select? Sign up for our newsletter, The Selection, and shop smarter.

Products we recommend during this episode

Who Gives A Crap 100% Recycled Toilet Paper

Skims Everyday Crew Sock

$10.00

SKIMS

Vuori Tuvalu Tee

$58.00

Vuori

Vosges Haut-Chocolat Dark Chocolate Truffles

Garrett Popcorn Happy Holidays Tin

$37.95

Garrett Popcorn

Capri Blue Volcano Capiz Jar Candle

Ostrichpillow Bamboo Compression Socks

Caitlyn Minimalist Handwriting Bracelet

Episode transcript

ZOE: Welcome back.

LAUREN: Welcome back.

ZOE: To gifting!

LAUREN: What’s your love language? Is it gifting?

ZOE: I was thinking about this the other day. It’s so funny you ask. I do think that gift-giving is one of my love languages, but I also think showing up is one of mine.

LAUREN: Spending time.

ZOE: Spending time, yes. And I feel like that could be a gift. Some people consider that a gift. I do.

LAUREN: Time is a gift.

ZOE: Time is a gift, truly. What is yours?

LAUREN: For a long time, it was gift-giving. And I had a friend tell me, she was like, Everybody thinks that if your love language is gift-giving, there’s some sort of materialistic aspect to it, or it’s a little shallow. But actually, when gift-giving is your love language, it is showing love through thinking about somebody when you’re not with them.

ZOE: I love that.

LAUREN: And I think going to a store and being like, “You know who would like this? So and so. I’m going to get that for them,” and making that moment about them, that’s the aspect that I love. I love to show and receive love through having someone think about me when they’re out and about.

ZOE: I don’t think there’s anything more meaningful than when someone randomly, or not randomly, depending on the season, gives you something, and you open it and you’re like, Oh my god, you listen to me. You know exactly what I’m thinking about, and what I need in my life. And I think also when they know that you need something, and you didn’t even have to say it, they just could recognize in you that you needed something, whatever that may be, I just think that is the most beautiful thing ever. I love thinking about that when I’m giving gifts, especially during the holidays.

LAUREN: I take it as a sport this time of year because I am not going to just give somebody something, just to give them something. I want to make sure that it is a great gift that they’re either going to use or that shows them that I know something about them. What do you do? Do you go practicality? Do you go personality?

ZOE: So I really start thinking about gifting at the beginning of the year. I keep track of what people say. There’s a note in my phone that says, okay, this person said they’ve never tried this brand, and they really, really want to, so that’s going in their stocking. And this person said they already got this from this place, but they didn’t really love it, and they’re looking for a different option, but they’re just not going to buy it for themselves. I really start to keep notes and keep track of things like that, because I love surprising someone that you did think of them and you are constantly just acknowledging what they’re saying through a gift. I think it’s the coolest thing. I started thinking about it way in advance.

LAUREN: So you match to personality.

ZOE: I match to personality. Sometimes I match to practicality, depending on where a person is in their life. For example, when my brother went to college, I was fully buying him practical things that I knew he needed for some reason that wouldn’t take up too much space in his little dorm, or that helped him with something through his college life, or whatever it would be. And then if friends that I have move into a new apartment, I always try to get them something that I know they would want that’s practical for their apartment but they wouldn’t get themselves. So I go a little bit half and half, but I would say mainly personality.

LAUREN: Has Zoe Malin ever given socks and underwear as a gift?

ZOE: Yes, I’ve given socks, because I have these Skims socks, which I’ve written about. Everybody knows about them on the team. And my mom loved these socks. She was like, I need these socks. And she loves socks, so I obviously bought her those socks. I’ve never given underwear. I don’t think I ever will. I just don’t think that’s in my repertoire.

LAUREN: Cross that off the list.

ZOE: But you know what’s one of the best gifts I ever got?

LAUREN: What? Underwear?

ZOE: A lifetime supply of toilet paper.

LAUREN: From where? Who? What? Do you still have it?

ZOE: Yes. My cousin and I live next door to each other — not in different buildings, we share a wall.

LAUREN: Do you ever knock on her wall?

ZOE: Yes, constantly. I’m like, Do you have another egg? All the time.

When she moved in, because I moved in before her, my aunt sent us — I’m quite literally not kidding when I say — probably 300 rolls of toilet paper from Who Gives a Crap? It was the best day of our life, because having to buy something as annoying as toilet paper sucks. It’s expensive, it’s an annoying thing to buy. And she bought us this luxurious bamboo toilet paper. I was like, Oh my god, this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. To this day, it’s the best gift ever. I’m obsessed.

Do you have one that you love that comes to mind?

LAUREN: A practical gift? Well, I felt very proud of myself last year, because I’m always on a gifting journey, but the past several years, I’ve really swung more towards practicality, mainly because my siblings are older, and so, as we’re giving gifts, it’s not really even giving gifts anymore. Shopping for the niece and nephews is fun, but that’s really where it kind of ends in terms of the fun gift giving. For everybody else, it’s practical.

For my brother and sister-in-law, last year, they had just had a baby a couple months before, so I got them a bunch of wipes, and I was like, This is not for me. This is for them. I was so proud of myself. I was like, Wow, I really evolved as a gift giver.

ZOE: And you know how happy that makes them.

LAUREN: My sister-in-law was like, Oh my God, thank you so much. And I was like, I won. I won Christmas.

ZOE: Oh my God, when you buy the best gift, and you know it.

LAUREN: I do the same thing for baby showers. If somebody has put up a registry of the things that they want, I have stopped buying the cute onesie, and started buying seven packs of diapers. I’m like, It’s not about me. It’s about them.

ZOE: And you know, that stuff stands up, so to take a little bit of that load off of someone is a gift in itself. You give them a little relief from worrying about the wipes running out, or having to buy more, or the price just went up on our favorites.

LAUREN: It’s truly a gift.

ZOE: It’s the best thing ever. I am obsessed with that. I love when someone opens your gift and they’re like, Oh, my God. It’s the best.

LAUREN: It’s the best feeling.

ZOE: You can’t make that up.

LAUREN: I knew that I was getting older when during Christmas, or any gift-giving holiday, I was more excited for everyone else to open up the gifts and not as excited about myself receiving gifts. At this stage of my life, I think I could probably go a whole Christmas without getting one gift and feeling so content.

ZOE: I feel the same way. I’d feel fulfilled.

LAUREN: I still want a gift.

ZOE: Duh.

LAUREN: But, I would feel content because I have truly gotten to a point in my life where it’s more fun watching my little brothers open gifts, or watching my grandma open gifts. And I always, for our Christmas morning, I am the gift passer outer.

ZOE: That’s a very coveted job.

LAUREN: Wait, I have to ask you a very important question.

ZOE: Please.

LAUREN: This is controversial: When you open gifts in your family or extended family, do you open them all at once, or do you hand them out one by one?ZOE: That’s a great question.

LAUREN: This will change how I think about you for the rest of my life.

ZOE: This is a very controversial topic within my family because within my immediate family — me and my mom, my dad and my brother — we open gifts at the same time. We go in rounds, and we each pick each other’s gifts. So I’ll say, Okay, mom and dad and Zach, I want you each to open this from me. And then my dad will be like, I want you three to open this from me.

LAUREN: So you’re a mix of both.

ZOE: We’re a mix of both, but we don’t single people out. I do have a couple family members who run the show that way. I don’t even want to go to your house. I literally start to feel panic in the car on the way to your house. The idea of someone watching me open a gift, quite literally, is one of my nightmares.

LAUREN: Okay, so then you would hate Christmas at my house.

ZOE: I would probably not come. I would be like, Thank you so much for the invitation. I can’t handle it.

LAUREN: So we always have done it this way. I’m the gift passer outer. I love that job because there’s a science to it. I’m like, Okay, I’ve got to make sure the young kids get the gifts first, and they have the most gifts, so I have to make sure that they are getting gifts every other person so that we all kind of end at the same time. So the little ones have opened up their last gift, my parents have opened up their last gift at about the time, even though it’s still one by one. And so I hand out the gifts. We don’t try to do it like everybody stares at that one person and we’re watching them peel the tape off. There is a little bit of overlap, but we try to have it so everybody has their moment to open it, and appreciate it, and like, be like, Oh my gosh, thank you. My husband’s family is chaos.

ZOE: See, I don’t like that.

LAUREN: They’re kind of the complete opposite. They pile the gifts. They don’t even put them in a central location. The gifts never go in a pile of all the gifts together. They will literally be like, All right, this is so and so’s pile. This is so and so’s pile. So you just put your gift in the pile, and then they say, Go.

ZOE: I’ve had a few Christmases like that.

LAUREN: It is the most stressful thing for me. I think because I grew up in a very different environment of gift opening, I am stressed out the entire time. I have to walk away from the chaos. I become the trash collector.

ZOE: I was literally just going to ask you who in the family collects the trash.

LAUREN: It’s me. It’s me in both scenarios because I also hate clutter. It’s me in my husband’s family’s scenario because I need to focus on something else. I’m so stressed out, and I think the thing that I don’t love is that nobody’s sitting there being like, Look at this gift that I got.

ZOE: I like that, too.

LAUREN: They open it, and then they move on to the next one, and the next one. And it’s kind of like, Well, do you even know what you got? You got some sweet stuff, kid.

ZOE: And you need to have time to reflect on it, and look at it, and spend time with it and thank the person who got it for you. That’s why I think if you go in rounds, it’s good.

LAUREN: Maybe because our love language is gift giving, and there’s so much thought that goes into the gift, that thinking somebody is just moving past it so quickly is crazy.

ZOE: I think so, too. I can’t handle that. And I love when someone’s like, “Why did you get me this?,” but not in a bad way. Like, Oh, my god, that was so nice, how did you even remember this? I think having that conversation with someone is so nice. I think it’s a very cool thing to learn about people’s gift-giving and gift-receiving journey. I don’t want to miss that moment either. When I was a kid, we did have a few of those Christmases, because we used to do huge Christmases with extended family, and it was mass chaos. People had their piles. Everyone had their own wrapping paper, which is really sweet. We still do that.

LAUREN: That’s really cute.

ZOE: It’s so fun, and then you knew which gift pile was yours based on the wrapping paper. And we still have a little bit of that, but I do like it’s toned down. It’s less people now, so it’s definitely more intimate, and we have time to reflect. And I also used to get FOMO when I was a kid, because I didn’t get to see what other people were opening. I wanted to know when I was five what schmancy coat my mom got.

LAUREN: And that’s how you ended up in this job being a shopping expert.

ZOE: Exactly. Close the book.

LAUREN: That’s how you ended up being a product focused, shopping expert because you actually enjoy that whole process.

ZOE: Oh, I love it. And I think, too, it’s so fun to see what people get the people in your family who are so hard to get a gift for. I’m like, Oh, wait, I need to understand your thinking because maybe I need to do that because I really had a hard time with this guy, like my dad.

LAUREN: What’s your “hard to shop for policy or rules? What’s your go-to gift when you don’t know the person?

ZOE: So when I don’t know the person is different than when I just don’t know what to get them.

LAUREN: Or what about if you don’t like them?

ZOE: Oh God, I know, everyone has that moment.

LAUREN: Especially in a large extended family.

ZOE: Yes, don’t even say you haven’t. Everyone has. I don’t want to hear anyone say, Oh no, not me. Be truthful.

LAUREN: There’s always one person.

ZOE: If I don’t know them or I don’t like them, I’m going to be honest: I stalk them hard on social media. I will go to the Pinterest you don’t think is public. I will go to the pages that you like on Instagram. I go so hard to find out who you are and what your vibe is. Have you constantly been liking things from a certain brand? I will go hard, and that’s kind of my way in. Or I start talking to people in their circle, and I’m like, I’m floating this idea by you.

LAUREN: So you stalk them, and their friends and family.

ZOE: So yes, I’m a little bit of a stalker. That’s how I gift.

LAUREN: And then they’re like, Zoe is obsessed with me.

ZOE: Like, Why is Zoe constantly viewing my profile? No, it’s thoughtful, I promise. But if it’s someone that I feel like I don’t really know what to get them, my thing is, I always just think about what does this person use constantly or constantly say that they love, and I just know that would make them happy to either have another one or something similar. My dad is the biggest Vuori fan you’ve ever met. That man would live in the store if he could. And if I don’t know what to get him, and I go into Vuori and I look at their new collections and find the softest, most lovely long sleeve shirt, I know that he will be so happy. I don’t even have to worry. What’s your strategy? That’s mine.

LAUREN: If I don’t know the person, what do I do? I mean, I hate to say it: I don’t want to be the one that gets the candle, but sometimes I am. There are times where I’ve just resorted to a candle.

ZOE: It happens. For me, sometimes my default is chocolate.

LAUREN: Oh, food. I also resort to good.

ZOE: Popcorn I’ve done before. Because who doesn’t like a snack? I love a snack.

LAUREN: I actually do food a lot.

ZOE: I feel like you’ve said you’ve done some great food gifts before.

LAUREN: I love doing food gifts.

ZOE: Me too, I love them.

LAUREN: My husband does the same thing. We’ll go to a restaurant in the city, and if they have a pasta sauce or a canned something, then we’ll get it, and we’ll be like, Here, we wanted to share this thing that we experienced in the city with you. And it’s just so easy, and it’s also thoughtful even though you don’t really know a ton about the person because you’re sharing something about yourself.

ZOE: I think that’s creating a thoughtful enough moment that you don’t feel bad about not knowing them or anything. I love that. Some things I’ve also done in the past is, if I’ve talked to their friends and family, and someone’s like, Oh, you know, they go to this fitness studio. Phenomenal — I’ll get them a class. Those kinds of things, too, I think are a very easy way to check something off your list and get a person a great gift, even if you don’t really know them.

You know, one person said to me last year. I was talking about this kind of thing with them, and they were like, The best gift someone’s ever gotten me is a gift card to my doggy daycare.

LAUREN: Oh, that’s a great gift. Personality and practicality.

ZOE: They were like, They knew that I am traveling a lot for work and that I always have to worry about the added cost of boarding my dog, and they got me a gift card. I was like, That is the best gift I’ve ever heard. I’m saying this as a dog parent, but if someone got me that, I would literally cry of joy. It’s one of my biggest expenses of the month, and to know that is so nice. I loved that.

LAUREN: The past couple of years, because my siblings are older, we’re really only buying gifts for the kids. But my parents still like to buy gifts for me and my siblings, and now our significant others, and they will always do local restaurant gift cards, which is my absolute favorite. I will take that over anything tangible.

ZOE: I agree with that.

LAUREN: In the city, we’re going out to restaurants quite frequently, but sometimes we go to the same place because it’s like, Oh, we’re ordering from the same Thai food place, and we’re going to the same, you know, whatever, or we’re going to Chipotle because it’s out of necessity. The gift cards are always to, or normally always, to places we wouldn’t probably go to on our own. Sometimes it’s in our neighborhood, sometimes it’s in another neighborhood, and it’s great. We can do date night. We don’t have to worry about the added expense. We try something new without having the risk of us spending a bunch of money on a fancy dinner.

ZOE: You don’t have to think about it.

LAUREN: Actually, my parents, maybe it was two years ago, they got us a gift card to a steak house, a really nice steak house, that was kind of by where you are over in your neighborhood. And we decided to go there for New Year’s Eve.

ZOE: That’s so fun.

LAUREN: It was so great. We were like, We’re going to use one of the gift cards for New Year’s Eve. We’ll have a nice dinner, and it’ll be date night, and I was doing the Midnight Run. So we did the New Year’s Eve menu, and Chad goes, Do you want to do a porter house for two? And I was like, Yes, of course. Well, we’re halfway through this meal, and I’m like, I have run in a couple hours. I don’t know if I can keep eating. I’m going to get sick if I keep eating. And he goes, Okay. So he did a porter house for two, for one. It’s his favorite story ever. He just ate the entire meal by himself, our entire gift card from my parents. He practically ate it by himself. And I found him napping on a bench after that run. He was clunked.

ZOE: See, you would never have that memory if it weren’t for that gift card.

LAUREN: I wouldn’t, and that is his favorite memory. He thinks it’s the funniest fact to be like, I had a porter house for two, for one on our New Year’s Eve date. And Lauren sat there and was like, Sorry, I’m the worst date. And I said, No, she’s the best. She just sat there watching me eat steak.

ZOE: That is adorable. I love that.

LAUREN: That was like the best gift.

ZOE: So you are pro gift card. I know this is divisive. I want to hear your opinion.

LAUREN: I’m pro gift card when it is meaningful.

ZOE: I agree.

LAUREN: I am not pro gift card when it feels like a cop out. I would rather somebody, if they really don’t know me and they don’t know what to get me, do one of those food gifts or something else. It’s not hard. We live in the city, you could find a gift card for a restaurant nearby. I would 100% use it. Or for a store nearby or something. I love a gift card for a small business, or a small restaurant or something like that.

ZOE: Me too.

LAUREN: Don’t get me a random gift card.

ZOE: I feel the same way. I actually think one of the most meaningful gifts is a gift card to somewhere you know someone absolutely loves, is constantly at or constantly says they want to go to, but they won’t because they don’t want to spend their own money. I think those are some of the most meaningful gifts. I will never forget –- my mom actually kind of taught me this when I was young — because my cousin was graduating from college and she was going to grad school. And my mom knew that in that summer, she was going to have to buy so much stuff for grad school. So my mom did research about where she’d buy her books, where she’d be living, and she got her a tumbler and filled the tumbler with all these gift cards. And I was like, That is the nicest gift ever because you know that this person is going to have to spend money on these things, and you’re alleviating some of the burden of the cost. And so ever since then, that’s why I’ve been starting to think of gift cards with so much more intention. And I think that getting someone a gift card to somewhere they love or are constantly at is the best. If you give me a gift card to my favorite coffee shop, I will immediately just think about how many lattes I don’t have to buy myself.

LAUREN: Oh, I love it.

ZOE: Or I love a Trader Joe’s gift card. I’ll say it: I want Trader Joe’s gift card for Christmas. I love it.

LAUREN: Because it’s, again, a mix of that personality and that practicality. It’s like, I was going to go there anyways, but it’s also something that I care about, and it’s something that you’re alleviating a burden off me. And I think that’s where gift cards can shine.

ZOE: I agree.

LAUREN: I’ll always be grateful, but I just don’t want somebody spending their money on a gift card that I’m not going to use. Like, I can’t really easily go to an Applebee’s in Manhattan, unless you want to go to Times Square. It’s just not as enjoyable. I will always be grateful, it’s just not my preference.

ZOE: No, it’s not my preference either. I completely agree.

LAUREN: How do you feel about re-gifting?

ZOE: I struggle with re-gifting.

LAUREN: Have you done it? Have you done it?

ZOE: I don’t think I have. I don’t really re-gifted.

LAUREN: Really?

ZOE: No. I’m trying to think. Have I ever?

LAUREN: In the traditional sense of re-gifting — you waited a whole year and then you’re like, Okay, I have this thing and I’m going to gift it to someone.

ZOE: I have never.

LAUREN: I don’t think I have either, because if I didn’t like something, I don’t know that it would last a whole year in my apartment.

ZOE: That’s my thought, too. I feel the exact same way. I feel like, if I open a gift and I’m not going to use it, not going to love this, it doesn’t fit or I don’t have a return label or something, I find someone that might want it. I find it a new home.

LAUREN: Re-home, not re-gift.

ZOE: That’s what I do. I re-home, I don’t re-gift. I will knock on my cousin’s door and be like, Hey, girl, you want this scarf?

LAUREN: As she’s drowning in toilet paper, like, You want a scarf?

ZOE: I’m like, You want to add to that? And then let’s say it’s coffee that I don’t love, I’ll throw it out there to my family. Like, Who wants this? That’s what I do. Or I will donate it. There’s so many things you can do. BUt I have never unwrapped a gift, let it sit in my home, rewrapped it and re-gift it. I’ve never done that. I think the guilt would eat me alive, first of all. I’m a terrible liar. Terrible. I’d be like, Yes, I bought that for you. You’d know. You’d know I’m lying.

LAUREN: Same.

ZOE: I wouldn’t even be able to watch you open it. There’s no way. Absolutely not. So I don’t even think I could do it if I wanted to.

LAUREN: If I ever re-gifted, I don’t think I could see the person again. I think I would just be in shame, both in terms of the person I gifted it to and the person that gave it to me. I’d be like, I can never speak to that person again.

ZOE: That is tough when someone says, Oh, have you been wearing that scarf that I got you? And you’re like, Yes, but you know, it’s not in your home anymore, and you’re never wearing it again. What do I do in this situation? That’s tough.

LAUREN: You’ve had that happen to you?

ZOE: Yes, I’ve had that happen.

LAUREN: And then you go knock on your cousin’s door and you’re like, I need that scarf back for a quick selfie.

ZOE: I have had that happen, I think, once or twice, and it was with apparel. I don’t like buying anything fashion or jewelry-related for someone, unless they specifically, literally send me a link. If you send me a link to something that you want and I know you didn’t get it, I’ll get that for you. I’m not going to go and randomly get you enormous earrings that you might absolutely hate. I’m just not going to do that. Have people done that to me? Oh yes, unfortunately, and I had to figure that situation out.

LAUREN: I mean, apparel or anything style related, is such a gamble. I feel like the cultural norms have kind of shifted on that. I feel like maybe older generations would have done it, but I feel like I would never give a gift, and I typically don’t receive a gift from somebody outside my family, that’s apparel-related.

ZOE: One of my aunts and I have the same style. She knows we have the same style, and I trust her to get me the best apparel gifts, like a cozy sweater. Or my parents. That’s really it.

LAUREN: I don’t know if I’d go to an acquaintance or something, and be like, Here’s a scarf. No way, I’d get so stressed out.

So let me tell you one of the best gifts that I’ve ever given. Actually, there’s two. One of the best gifts I’ve ever given was to Chad’s dad, my husband’s dad. One year I gave him, because we get sent a lot of things, and somebody had sent compression socks. And I was like, Oh, you know, I had only met him maybe once or twice. And I was like, Oh, he was wearing compression socks, and he was talking about how much he loves compression socks. Well, great. I’ve got these great socks that somebody had sent me — so I guess I did re-gift that — that were very similar to his favorite football team’s colors. And I was like, I’ll give those to him. I gave them to him and he has not stopped talking about it. This was, I swear, seven years ago.

ZOE: That’s adorable.

LAUREN: He has not stopped talking about these socks. He associates me with socks. So every time we will sit and have coffee together in the morning whenever I’m visiting, he’ll be like, Check out these socks that I’m wearing, Lauren. I bet you’ll like these.

ZOE: You’re bonding.

LAUREN: And I’m like, I gave you one pair.

ZOE: But now, for life, you’re the sock lady.

LAUREN: He’s like, Lauren loves socks.

ZOE: Of course.

LAUREN: Never in my life did I think that I would be heavily associated with socks. So that was a great gift, or he was just very grateful for it. Not sure. Another gift, which was not for a holiday — I think it was for my mom’s birthday. Her parents had just passed away, and we were going through their house, and we found their love letters to each other. So we found a love letter from my grandma to my grandpa, and then vice versa. And they had signed it the same way. And so I had somebody on Etsy make either a necklace or a bracelet — I think a bracelet — with their signatures on the bracelet.

ZOE: See, that’s it. That’s the best gift.

LAUREN: That’s how you know my love language is gift giving. And then I get excited. I’m like, I can’t wait.

ZOE: Oh, right. And then I have a hard time waiting to give it to someone. My dad’s the worst. He’ll give it to you the day he buys it.

LAUREN: My mom does the same thing. And I’m the same way, I can’t wait.

ZOE: I internally can’t wait, but I like to wait. I like the delayed gratification of knowing they’re going to open it the day I see them, or on the holiday, or whatever it is.

Okay, we’ve talked about the best gift — I want to hear about your worst.

LAUREN: The worst gift I’ve ever given or gotten?

ZOE: Either. I can tell you my worst gift I’ve ever gotten.

LAUREN: Okay, you tell me because I don’t know.

ZOE: I, as we all know, am a very scent-sensitive person. I do not want you to buy me anything that has a scent, unless you know it’s a scent that I love, like the Anthropologie volcano candle. Buy me 1,200. I’m thrilled. One year, someone got me a whole set, so like 12 items of body care, in this scent. It was like a green apple. I don’t know what it was trying to be, but I think green apple. I unfortunately opened it and I literally gagged in front of the person. I didn’t mean it. It was just a jolt reaction. It was horrible. It smelled rotten. It was horrible. And maybe it’s because I’m very sensitive, I don’t know, but I still think about how bad it was. I would never buy someone something like that now, because I know how risky it is.

LAUREN: Yes, scent is personal, too. Scent and apparel.

ZOE: You know another one of my rules of gift giving? Unless you know somebody wants it or has the capability to care for it, no living things.

LAUREN: No puppies?

ZOE: No puppies. I’m sorry. As a puppy lover, I’m saying don’t buy someone a puppy or a kitten. No plants. I am against plant giving, because you’re adding responsibility to someone’s plate.

LAUREN: As opposed to easing the burden.

ZOE: Yes, I love a plant. It’s lovely, but that’s something I buy for myself because I know I can take care of it, instead of getting it thrust upon me on Christmas morning. You know? And I’m going to kill it. I’m going to. No living things.

LAUREN: I don’t know that I have a specific worst gift, because I can’t think of it right now, but if you make a list, anything that’s not on the list, is automatically a worst gift to me.

ZOE: I agree with you.

LAUREN: Again, I’m super grateful. But if you go through the time being like, Here’s what I actually want that’s not going to be wasteful and that is meaningful to me, it shows me more if you’re like, That’s what Lauren wants, that’s what Lauren gets.

ZOE: I think that’s the best.

LAUREN: As opposed to trying to tell me what I want. I don’t want anyone to tell me what I want.

ZOE: I know what I want.

LAUREN: I know what I want, and I made a list.

ZOE: I love a list. I think lists are one of the most valuable things you can provide people during the holiday season. A list of do’s and don’ts.

LAUREN: When my niece makes a gift list, I’m buying 12 things off that list because…

ZOE: You’re gonna hear it if you don’t.

LAUREN: Maybe I’ll hear it, but also, she deserves it.

ZOE: Yes, of course. I mean, best aunt award, duh.

LAUREN: The struggle is trying not to associate being the best aunt with physical things and gifts, but that’s the challenge when your love language is gift giving.

ZOE: Exactly, it is. But I really do think that if you stick to a list, you’re golden. Mic drop right there.

LAUREN: There it is.

ZOE: Mic drop.

LAUREN: Is there anything we didn’t talk about that we want to talk about?

ZOE: No, I think those were my main ones. Anything else on your list?

LAUREN: No, I think we got it. I made a list. No, I think we covered it.

ZOE: All right. I love it. Happy gift giving, and receiving and shopping.

LAUREN: Happy gifting. Yes.

ZOE: I love it. Bye!

Why trust NBC Select?

I’m a reporter at NBC Select and I co-host our live podcast, For What It’s Worth, with editorial director Lauren Swanson. In this article, I summarize Episode 9: The Rules of Gifting. I included a summary of the episode, a transcript, products we recommend during the podcast and related articles.

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