Corporate America delivered a smorgasbord of excuses for missing earnings and revenue forecasts in the first quarter -- everything from the stale, to the odd, to the downright gross.
Among the more interesting: a leap year, a finger topped bowl of chili and the death of Pope John Paul II.
Bad weather, good weather and higher oil and gas prices also took their usual places on the roster.
"I wish companies were as creative with coming out with new products as they are in explaining why their earnings are off," said Nell Minow, editor of the Corporate Library, a Portland, Maine-based independent research firm specializing in corporate governance.
"The thing I love is that, when things are going well, it's always because of the unique vision and leadership qualities of the CEO," Minow said. "But when things are bad, it's because of some rain storm in Bhopal, or the fact that the Yankees lost the World Series."
The weather is always one of the more popular excuses.
Harley-Davidson Inc. cut its 2005 production and earnings targets April 13 and blamed bad spring weather for a 1 percent dip in the first-quarter U.S. retail sales of its motorcycles.
But at least one analyst thought sales took a soaking from more than storm clouds.
"Management attributed the cuts to slow first-quarter sales, but we think the issue may run deeper than that," said RBC Capital analyst Ed Aaron. "We think Harley's underlying (production) growth rate is lower than either management or investors perceive."
Waiter, there's a finger in my bowl!!
The weather may be a prosaic excuse, but the death of a pontiff is sublime to say the least. The sickness and death of Pope John Paul II was blamed as possibly contributing to Overstock.com's sluggish start in April.
During the online retailer's quarterly conference call, Chief Executive Patrick Byrne was asked about the slow sales in early April after the company shed its $1 shipping rate.
"Maybe, though, on the other hand, maybe it's because the pope was sort of sick the 27th, 28th, 29th (of March) and then he died and then there was 10 days. And maybe that was what happened," Byrne replied.
The late pope, who died April 2, was invoked a few other times during the call.
Without doubt the most bizarre reason in recent memory came from Wendy's International Inc..
Wendy's, the No. 3 U.S. burger chain, said first-quarter profit dipped, hurt by higher beef costs and lost sales after a woman claimed she found a human finger in a bowl of its chili.
Anna Ayala of Las Vegas filed a complaint about biting into a human finger after spooning up a mouthful of chili at the San Jose Wendy's March 22. She was arrested a month later after California police determined it was a hoax. Ayala, who denies she planted the finger, has been charged with attempted grand theft for the millions of dollars Wendy's lost due to the bad publicity.
And if the floating finger was not enough, Wendy's also blamed the old standby, unfavorable weather, for slow sales.
The calendar often gets its share of the blame, too, with several retailers citing an earlier-than-normal Easter for messing up April sales. Holidays, sports events, elections, have all been blamed for drooping sales in the recent past.
Even an extra day every four years can have an impact, according to Thomas Fanning, the chief financial officer at power utility Southern Co..
In a half-serious, half-joking manner, Fanning mentioned the leap year as a sales factor during the company's quarterly conference call.
"And I've been dying to get this out in the earnings call, but one of the other factors that you should evaluate in energy sales between '04 and '05 is leap year. That adds about a percent to your sales statistics in the first-quarter," Fanning said.
