Ricky Martin opened up about the personal struggle he endured coming to terms with his sexuality while also wanting to become a father.
In a new cover story for Out magazine, the 48-year-old singer said that he had difficulty accepting that a gay man can also be a dad.
“Many years I dreamt of being a father, and many, many, many times I went through this grieving process of I am gay, I am a closeted gay man, and I’m not going to be able to be a daddy,” he said of his experience.
“Obviously adoption is an option and it’s very beautiful, but unfortunately for gay men it’s very difficult to adopt in some countries,” he continued.
Martin, who confirmed his marriage to Jwan Yosef in 2018, is father to four kids: twins Valentino and Matteo, born in 2008, daughter Lucia, 1, and newborn son Renn, 9 months.
All four of Martin's children were born via surrogate. In 2010, he opened up to Oprah Winfrey about his decision to use surrogacy as a way to become a father, opting for a private process, where both the egg donor and the surrogate didn't know of Martin's identity.
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"There are open adoptions and private adoptions," he said. "We can do the same thing in surrogacy. ... Some mothers who are carrying the babies prefer it that way, and my case was like that."
During the surrogate interview process, Martin explained that he spoke on the phone to the woman who would eventually carry his children.
"I said, 'Why do you do this?' And she said, 'Because I'm a very spiritual woman, and I've never felt closer to God than that moment where I can give the gift of life to someone that cannot do it on his own,'" he explained. "'I said, 'You are the one.'"
Now, 10 years and two more kids later, the singer elaborated on if he would want to expand his family even more.
“I would love to have many grandkids in the future and have every Sunday filled with family but, you know, we have to see what happens," he told Out magazine, and noted that he comes from a big family himself — his grandma had 14 kids.
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“There’s moments where I want 10 more," he explained "And then there are those mornings where everybody’s crying, and I’m like, ‘OK, maybe we’re fine at six.'"
The "Livin' la Vida Loca" singer is also well aware that becoming a parent of a newborn again only gets more challenging with age.
"Listen, I became a daddy when I was 35; it's not the same thing when you're 48," he said. "You need the energy! And I'm strong, trust me, I'm healthy — I'm carrying two babies at the same time and the stroller and the backpack — but it's a lot. It's a big responsibility."
A previous version of this story was first published in TODAY.com.
